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annarr

asgardian texting | anachronistic midgardian texting | timeywimey texting | au multiverse shenanigans | overflows +

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From:

meforsaken

it is harder in some ways, yes, but less exhausting in the end i would argue

have i shown you what i looked like when i was younger? SO many stress lines, greying hair, rotting teeth, the works

From:

annarr

Any chance there's a clever way of avoiding all that?

[please don't be a lack of dramatics he won't survive]

From:

meforsaken

stop being bothered by everything. be more honest with yourself.

From:

annarr

I'm honest with myself.

I feel that I'm honest with myself.

I'm not sure if some of it's lies and some of it's just desparate hoping.

From:

meforsaken

so long as you try and reassess things every now and then, i think that's good enough

there's no clever way out of character development. no shortcut, as much as it might seem like i've taken one

From:

annarr

I'd very much hoped that knowing you would let me skip at least a bit of it.

[or maybe there's a cat loki out there somewhere who's work he could copy; it's all equally valid]

Does it at least get more fun at some point? Being?

From:

meforsaken

if that was the case, i would have gone back in time and told myself all this

[A lie. It would ruin the story to do that. They wouldn't be themselves anymore either. But it seems like it might be a useful thing to say to this Loki.]

oh yes i would think i'm at least proof of that!
some of the older schemes are fun too once you have a little distance, more perspective. a lot of them were fun at the time too

From:

annarr

Oh, well as long as there's nostalgia to look forward to.

Does being honest with you count?

From:

meforsaken

not exactly.
too many differences for it to count, namely with how we were raised

From:

annarr

Does it make that much of a difference? At the core of things?

From:

meforsaken

not at the core of things, no
but i am still my own self, separate from you

being honest with me may help, though, even if it does not technically count as being honest with yourself

From:

annarr

Did you have to learn? How to be properly honest with yourself?

From:

meforsaken

trial by fire as they say
a few deaths here and there, but a repeating theme in them all. the truth i had to face was that i hated myself

the steps after that were harder, as you can imagine.

From:

annarr

Is it a lot of thinking you're through the worst of it and then realizing you're not remotely?

From:

meforsaken

i don't know, i'm definitely through the worst of it now. the issues i deal with now are rather minuscule, or at the very least, they don't bother me nearly as much as they used to

but at the time, it felt like i was slowly burning. a gradual thing, yeah? whatever ups or downs i may have had, that fire remained until it finally consumed me.

From:

annarr

[a pause, during which they'll probably guess that this loki is fixedly turning the phrase 'slowly burning' over and over in his head for a bit.]

But it's worth the work.

[period serving as question mark, obviously.]